He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare.
When we entered recovery, we had buddies we drank or used with and people we hung out with, but often no one we could really call a friend. For a long time, we hadn’t been ”friend material.” Too poor in body, mind, and spirit to be generous, we weren’t even a friend to ourselves; how could we be a friend to someone else? Finally, we just gave up on having friends. Our attitude became, ”Who needs them anyway?”
Then we began to recover and one day realized we had friends. Good friends. Friends worth loving. And the most amazing thing of all; they loved us too. We could have a friend. We could be a friend. No longer unreliable and ungenerous, we could give of ourselves. No longer needing to buy another’s love, we can accept love from others. No longer suspicious about other people’s motives, we can accept friendship.
In learning to love ourselves and others, we began to accept that other people could love us, too. Now we can trust ourselves to be good to our friends. With a growing circle of people to choose from, we can risk being ourselves. Knowing that whatever happens, we can handle it. What a wonderful feeling of security and confidence we have now that we’ve found friends.
Today help me appreciate my friends, and help me be a good friend to others.
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